Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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