Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just high enough for therapy.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
