Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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