But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Is it because I queefed?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
