PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
