another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
