You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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