New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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