Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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