Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
