Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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