you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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