why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
No stitches, just platelets and will power
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
