Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
