Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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