This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
