I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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