I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
