just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
