The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
