And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
either way he was missing a nipple.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
