I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
