Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
