he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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