We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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