Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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