all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
