I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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