if i can run in heels then i can drive
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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