id be glad to
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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