No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
