I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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