Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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