i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Is it because I queefed?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
