@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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