i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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