he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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