I'm drive I can fine osifer
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize