It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize