he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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