I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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