either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
