So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
