bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
