matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
