Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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