I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
