He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize