He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
