He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
