i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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