where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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