Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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