Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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