cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
