sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
