Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
