hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
