I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
