guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I need a burrito and a hug.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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